Harriette Cole: I dread going out of my apartment but I don’t want to live anywhere else

DEAR HARRIETTE I m a -year-old woman who has lived in the same charming walk-up apartment in New York City for more than years This place has seen me through marriage motherhood widowhood and every season of my life Related Articles Harriette Cole I m in my s and that s too old to date a man who acts like this Harriette Cole A car crash wrecked my daughters relationship Harriette Cole I realized the credit card thief was my own son Harriette Cole I keep replaying what my friend stated about my child Harriette Cole Everyone at the dog park laughs when I m disrespected by another owner In recent weeks the three flights of stairs have become almost impossible for me to manage My knees ache I get winded easily and I find myself dreading leaving the apartment because I know I ll have to climb back up My expert has recommended I look for housing with an elevator or move closer to family but the thought of leaving my neighborhood my friends my routines my sense of independence well it breaks my heart I can t imagine myself anywhere else At the same time I know staying here isn t sustainable or safe I ve even tripped once or twice on the stairs which scared me more than I d like to admit I feel stuck between practicality and the emotional attachment I have to the place I ve called home for nearly half my life I don t want to lose my independence but I also don t want a fall or to have wellbeing issue force a decision I didn t make intentionally How do I make peace with the idea of leaving the home I love and how do I know when it s truly time to go What Is Home DEAR WHAT IS HOME When my mother was about to move out of our family home where she had lived for more than years she explained us that wherever she went was where home was I ve never forgotten that concept As hard as it may be to leave the familiar trust that you can bring home with you your spirit your thoughtfulness yourself It may be bumpy at first but I would highly recommend you find a safer place to live as soon as attainable and build society there You can do it DEAR HARRIETTE My parents are divorced and my sibling and I go back and forth between their homes We lately went on vacation with my dad and one of his pieces of luggage inadvertently ended up at my mom s house I guess one of us grabbed it and took it with us He wants it back but I don t have a way to get it to him and my parents don t speak In a way it s not a big deal we invariably shared luggage when we lived together as a family and a piece that matches our family set just ended up in the wrong place but it s weird that he feels he can t come over and just get it Related Articles Dear Abby My granddaughter is a nightmare and timeouts are no use Asking Eric I had a doozy of a year and I let it all hang out in my Christmas card Harriette Cole I m in my s and that s too old to date a man who acts like this Miss Manners They publicly oppose my rights then accuse me of intolerance Dear Abby I m worried about my friend s sudden interest in men Divorce is so awkward Do I need to tell my mother to give him back his bag Managing Divorce DEAR MANAGING DIVORCE If the luggage belongs to your dad just have it with you the next time you see each other If he demands it sooner he can fetch it himself Don t make it a big deal because it isn t Navigating the ins and outs of divorce is hard for everyone involved but you can do it Let this be a simple one Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions toaskharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO